Sam the Man! 

Gro-Bag Boy

Jees, look at my cousin Sam he's growing at a rate of knots, what are they feeding him up North?
Wigan Butties I'll bet!

Got Him... 

Give us More E Numbers

Well Dad started it, gave us a pack of Smarties each packed with all that sugar and chemical colourant that makes us kids mental - Quick Sam get some cash out of his pocket whilst I rub his bald bit!